By J. Lehmann
As the daughter of old-school Russians, I was raised to believe that sadness, anxiety and insomnia were simply self-indulgences that resulted from having too much time on my hands. A typical exchange with my mother might go like this:
Me: “I can’t sleep at night and I worry all the time.”
Mom: “You should get a second job. More work and you’ll feel better.”
I’m not putting down my mother’s hardy Russian wisdom. It often proved valuable when it came to child-birthing, skin care and plotting major acts of revenge. But in the arena of mental health, I knew I couldn’t rely on her for guidance.
The disappointment I felt in myself at not being able to control my anxiety probably exacerbated it, and despite a successful career and wonderful relationship, the constant feeling of dread I carried wouldn’t go away. If I could define my anxiety in a single sentence, I’d say it’s the instinct to treat any perceived fear, negative thought or worst case scenario as if it were 100% certain to come true. From having a panic attack over missing the opening credits of a movie to being convinced that my pilot harbours some terrible secret that will result in our plane going down, I was Chicken Little forever screaming, “The sky is falling!”
On the recommendation of a good friend, I started seeing a therapist. To my surprise, she was reluctant to prescribe Zoloft or Lexapro. Instead, she suggested that I get licensed for medical marijuana and start taking cannabidiol (CBD) oil. She recommended me to Plants Not Pill, who got me licensed in less than a week. After doing my research on Licensed Producers, I signed up with CannTrust. Within a few days of taking 25 mg in the morning before bed, I started noticing an internal shift. I wouldn’t call it a numbness as I was still highly functional, but at the risk of sounding cheesy, it felt like what ‘peace of mind’ is supposed to feel like. For the first time in a long time, I’d find myself losing track of time while reading, cooking or going outside. The guilt and worry that I wasn’t doing what I was supposed to be doing went away. I was no longer stressing about the next item on my to-do list or imagining tragic accidents. Life has become about experiencing the ‘now’ as opposed to ‘what next?’
As for Russian wisdom… while there is something admirable about having an iron will and innate steeliness against adversity, I don’t believe it’s realistic. And even if it were, I think it’s a lot healthier to face life’s challenges with a little CBD.
If you or a loved one would like to start accessing safe, effective medical cannabis then contact Plants Not Pills by clicking here or email firstname.lastname@example.org. Use the promo code Health17 and take advantage of a $25 discount on all fees associated with licensing.